1. Beauty is a relative term

What is beauty? Oxford Dictionary defines it as: “a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.” That says NOTHING. You see, beauty is a preference based concept. Have you ever heard the phrase, “ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. This basically sums it up. Beauty isn't a finite concept. There is literally no boundary for what is considered beautiful. So, my biggest suggestion is teach yourself to be your own preference. Acknowledge that beauty doesn't mean, “ Skinny, blonde, fair skinned, big boobs, big butt, slim waist, long legs, tall ect.” Throw all of that out of the window. It doesn't mean anything. You learned in parts 1 and 2 that you're groomed to believe certain qualities are desirable. Now that we have officially invalidad and proven to be incorrect, you can work on building your own standard of beauty with an open mind. MAKE IT YOURSELF. For instance, if you have a chubbier body, you need to praise that quality. Tell yourself that you prefer the bigger body, that you are so infatuated with your curves you wouldn't want any other shape. This does not mean to hate on people with different body types than you. It just means you need to focus on ADORING qualities you possess. A couple of ways to practice becoming your own definition of beauty is to surround yourself with women you find beautiful, who also resemble you. For example, the women I follow on all platforms of social media, are all of bigger body types, tanner or darker complexion of skin and have brown hair. These are all traits I obtain, when I see these women come up on my feed, I see that they are stunning. Eventually, I began noticing similarities between myself and these gorgeous women, and grew to appreciate the qualities of myself that I used to dislike.  Another small, easy, yet very effective tactic is to get comfortable with your bare body. The easiest way to do this is simply take note of your beauty as you hop in or out of the shower. You can also purchase an anti- fog mirror to put in your shower, or angle a mirror so your reflection is visible from the bath. Becoming familiar with your body in its most natural state is so grounding, and really helps you to idolize your body rather than anybody else's. 

  1.  Stare and speak. 

Note the things about yourself you have tried to change in the past , or still feel an urge to dislike. As hard as it might be, try to focus on these qualities in a positive mindset each day. For instance, if you don't like your stretch marks, stare at them everyday. While staring, express out loud how much you like them, even if you don't entirely believe yourself. In this case you can say, “ Wow, these stretch marks are really cool, they're like my body's own personal design.” Say positive things about smaller traits ( starting small helps to target specific qualities), and stare at them. It might be hard at first, and even uncomfortable, but you will get used to it, and after a short amount of time you will grow to like the qualities you originally resented. 

  • Combating outside commentary.
  • For some odd reason, people feel the need to state their unwanted opinions concerning other people's appearances. A lot of people make it a priority to put others down. So, how do you deal? First, it is important to IMMEDIATELY, invalidate the person's comment. Know that they are an unreliable source of information, and that their comment comes from a place of self hatred and self consciousness. Basically, if someone says your “ outside” is ugly, just know this means their “ inside” is ugly.  Secondly, think of the amount of power you give that person if you allow yourself to even consider that the comment they made is valid. The best way I could put it is like this… You are the main character of your life. ( Obviously. It’s YOUR life). You get to write all the thoughts and internal dialogue to this main character ( keep in mind, you need to live this through, so your goal is to make it pleasant). If a minor side character, or even an antagonist asks if they can take control of the main character, would you say yes? Would you just give them the pen and the power to write your story? Of course not!  Why would you do that? Why would you give someone else the power to determine the most important thing in life, your self worth? The second you consider if someone's negative comment could be true, you are handing over the pen and allowing someone else to write your story. Simply acknowledge that they are sad and ugly on the inside, take pity on them, and move on.  


    written by gabby rivadeneria....